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LoZ: Pawns of Prophecy ch3.2 (by Thait)

Continued from Pt. 1

Nearly an hour later, having spent time resting on his jumping journey after resting (All that just happened so reminding us really isn't necessary), he stood looking at the fallen over cauldrons that had held oil and potions. Trill, the bird that he had bought oil from before was nowhere to be seen and looked to have not been there for quite some time. The wolf shook his head and moved along the edge of the rock face until he stood at the rock that where Midna had helped him jump from root to root on a path to the sacred grove. Without Midna he would have found it impossible to make the jumps normally but he knew exactly where the spots to leap to(implicit in "leap") were and so didn't need her to scout out the way before he jumped.

Muscles bunched and a second later claws where scrabbling at wood to jerk him to a stop. Panting in relief, he turned and looked at the way forward. Offering up a quick prayer, he leapt quickly onward and soon was standing on solid ground. Lot tougher without Midna. Shaking his head, he stood and walked into the trees with hope that this wouldn't take long. Several hours later, he was starting to think that he was lost. (Think you're trying to fit too many transitions into one sentence, "several hours later" and "until ..." make it kind of crowded.) until Then he heard faint music playing from somewhere ahead and very dimly he could see a light and hear the soft clanking of a lantern. Moving through the trees he saw the Skull Kid dancing on a tree stump while several puppets moved nearby. Link didn't get the chance to move closer as the skull kid stopped playing and looked up to see him.

"You've come back to play!" The skull kid danced happily.

Link blinked in surprise and then dove to the side, dodging the attack of one of the puppets. He quickly recovered and leapt onto the puppet, severing it's head from its body in a single bite of his jaws. He kicked off the puppet flipping backwards to slide to a stop only to catch sight of the skull kid vanishing down another passageway. Darting around the remaining puppets, Link rushed after the only being he knew who could guide him through the grove. It wasn't an easy trip. The skull kid was faster than he had been before and his puppets were stronger. The grove seemed to be bathed in a deep shade as if the bright life that had once been existent within the trees was sleeping (Imagery conflict. If it's sleeping, it's still existent and "had once been existent" makes little sense. I'd try to revise the "had once been existent" part, since even without the imagery conflict it sounds a bit bland. Is there a more interesting verb than exist that you could use?) The lantern light shone just ahead and he burst free of the bushes to find himself over a drop to the ground below. A yelp echoed through the area as he fell to the ground below but when he stood shaking his head he saw the stone of the temple. The skull kid wasn't anywhere in sight and Link was glad he didn't need to fight his way past him again. He moved to the stone crawling through rubble upwards into the main section of the temple to find the place looked exactly as he had last seen it. There was still even some charcoal markings on the wall where Shad had made notations while studying the walls and statues. The Master Sword gleamed from its dais in the other room and he headed towards the doorway.

Not for the first time today did he feel he was being watched again (Redundant) and he moved carefully towards the statues that guarded the doorway to the sword chamber. The thundering boom of twin hammers striking the ground echoed through the temple and only Link's impressive reflexes had granted him enough time to dodge out of the way of (Implied by dodge) the weapons wielded by the enchanted statues (Any particular reason to phrase it like this as opposed to something a bit shorter, "the enchanted statues' weapons", say? If there isn't, I'd reword for concision.). He backed up, growling, glaring at the two when he realized they weren't looking at him. He spun and stared in surprise as twelve figures dropped to the floor of the temple. They were the same stalfos types that he had seen before, except that eleven of these were the purple-armored type and leading them was a figure in full grey plate mail, not a single part of the person showed, so he couldn't tell if they were alive or not. (This last sentence is a bit of a run on, and the first part of it "the same stalofs that he had seen before, except ... purple" is confusing. If they're the same, why are they purple now? Which group of stalfos that he'd seen before do you mean? I'd, lastly, maybe change the "they" at the end, since it's confusing whether you mean it as a gender-neutral pronoun or to refer to the group of stalfos and plate-mail figure. You use gendered pronouns elsewhere for the plate-mail fellow, why not here? All in all, though, these last few paragraphs were very good.)

"We must thank you beast." The grey-armored figure began to walk forward as his soldiers spread out and moved ahead as well "Had you not lead us here we would have never been able to make it through the sacred grove to this place. My master will be most pleased with this turn of events as I have been searching for this temple for two years now."

Link dodged to the side as one of the guardians began to move "You are not allowed here...go dark one, and trouble this place no more."

"Relics of a bygone age. I have no time to waste with such trash." The knight gestured to his soldiers and they rushed forward to hack at the guardians. Link was surprised to see chips of stone break from one of the statues before it smashed two of the enemy in one swing of its massive hammer.

The grating rumble of stone on stone made the wolf shift his view to the doorway to the sword chamber, which was closing. He bolted towards it</add>,</add> crouching low and sliding through</add>,</add> trying to ignore the way the door had managed to brush the tip of his tail when it boomed closed. (Excellent sentence) Quickly jumping up, he rushed to the dais and the pedestal that was on it. He circled the sword for a moment until the door to the chamber was in view and then stepped forward noting the white glow building in the sword, the same as it had during his first retrieval of the weapon during the twilight invasion. The glow grew brighter and suddenly a pulse washed outwards forcing him back several feet. Winds whipped outwards and he struggled forwards as the glow of the sword grew blinding. A second later a brilliant light flashed through the chamber and the wolf slammed into the wall with a pained yelp. Slowly standing Link stared down at his paws, realizing that he hadn't changed,. (Optional, but I'd start a new sentence here, and put more emphasis on "for some reason".) That -- for some reason -- the sword had flung him away instead of curing him.

A loud boom from the doorway caused him to turn towards the door and stare in surprise as cracks spread across it. A second boom and the door cracked more and seemed to bow inwards. With no more time to waste he rushed forward and struggled to reach the sword as wind and light flared to life again. Planting his paws and trying to anchor himself with his claws as best he could, he strained forwards. As the power of the master sword pushed against him he felt something pushing back and that same feeling he'd felt at the spring of Eldin flared up again and golden flecks floated through his vision again (Repeated use of "again" seems unnecessary). The sword's light was growing bright enough and the wind strong enough that he almost didn't hear the crash of stone on stone as the door exploded inwards. He did see the chunks of stone fly by and see the grey-armored knight stride into the room carrying the hammer of one of the grove guardians, though now the hammer bore dark violet runes glowing on it. Through the light he could see the shattered remains of the destroyed guardians lying in the other room. The knight was followed by two stalfos who were ordered back as the knight approached as closely as he could and still remain outside the master sword's awakened power (Awkward. Rephrase?). The knight swept the hammer into the air and with a mighty swing slammed it into the ground releasing a shockwave towards the sword. The shockwave impacted and in a second flashed back towards the knight impacting with enough force to drop him to one knee. Link felt his paws slipping on the stone and strained to stay put noticing as he did that the gold flecks in his vision began to take up more space. Every now and then a grouping of flecks would seem to float together and the world seen from that eye would turn a bright shade of yellow for a moment. And each time it happened he would suddenly get a brilliant view of the temple as it had been long ago, as if he was looking back through time. For just a moment his eyes focused on the knight and he saw silver and gold armor adorned with an unknown marking. The helm was not closed off but open, and inside he saw the bearded face of a man with kind eyes looking out at the world. And then his view went back to seeing the world around him and the grey-armored knight who was now standing up once more.

"After two years I will not be denied!" The massive hammer began to glow with a dark violet light and with a mighty heave he threw it forward just as Link strained forward with all his might. The mighty hammer impacted one side of the sword as Link managed to touch the blade. The world turned to light and pain.

Rock shattered as the dais buckled upwards in the center and the pedestal exploded. Link smashed to the floor, skidding backwards nearly ten feet before coming to a stop, his eyes clenched shut to try and drive out the blinding white light. Those eyes snapped open when he heard a clanging sound near him. And with horrified and shocked eyes he stared at the broken Master Sword now lying near him. The blade ended nearly a foot and a half from the hilt and he saw shards of the blade lying nearby as well. Struggling upright and trying to ignore the pains that shot through his body he could only stare at the broken blade while his mind reminded him of two things. The first being that he was still in wolf form, and the other was the knight. The master sword, his last hope, broken by the unknown evil knight who had followed him to the sacred grove. (This really needs another verb in there somewhere to make it a sentence. Maybe try "was broken" or "had been broken" -- though the second seems a bit bland and the first would require rewording some of the rest of the sentence) Link spun to look towards the knight letting loose a feral snarl only to get an armored boot to his ribs flinging him across the chamber and nearly into a wall.

"I have completed my mission. I would normally reward you for leading me to this place. But you are obviously no ordinary wolf." (Wait wait wait. If he were an ordinary wolf he'd get a reward? Isn't that a bit weird? What on earth can this fellow do to reward wolves -- give them food? -- and why would he reward one that clearly can't appreciate that it's being rewarded, or what's going on?) The knight drew a sword of green metal from a sheath at the back of his waist and was about to step forward again when a musical note played and several puppets dropped into the room. Two of the puppets grabbed the knights arms and flung him backwards to the floor sending him sprawling even as more puppets entered the room and moved towards the downed knight. Link was so surprised by the attack that he almost missed seeing the small glowing light that suddenly was in front of him (There are definitely words more descriptive than "was" that you can use here.) A fairy? He stared at the fairy for a moment and then realized that she was making movements as if he was to follow. Looking to the Master Sword (Proper noun!), he saw fairies all over collecting the pieces of the Sword. A second later one fairy landed on his muzzle and managed to get him to look towards where the fairies with the pieces of the sword were going (Okay, where were they going? It's good to know they're going somewhere, but how exactly are they leaving the room? Clarify that and then add that the fairies are leaving the chamber from there). He quickly followed, even as the puppets behind him were sliced apart and more showed up to engage the knight, slowing him down enough for Link to leap to branches and logs and escape the temple out into the forest following the fairies deeper into the woods. (Can you break this into two sentences, it's a bit of a run-on again.) The gold flecks were slowly fading until only a couple floated in his vision, and soon (Need to indicate some passage of time between remark that some were left, and those flecks vanishing) even they quickly vanished. He crossed streams and rushed through grass and bushes on his way following the fairies. As he continued along he was surprised to see the shattered remains of buildings strewn here and there among the trees. He was so engrossed in staring at the ruins that he almost ran into several fairies as they stopped at the edge of what looked to have once been a fountain. A green mist floated forward and then reformed into the Great Fairy who strode through the water to where the wolf now rested by the edge of the pool, looking mournfully at the shattered blade he had worked so hard to reach.

The great fairy knelt and reached forward placing her hand on the wolf's head, healing his injuries and at the same time letting her nature as a fairy let her see into his heart (waaay too long. Revise for concision.),. What she saw worried her, but she had no choice in her actions. "Despair not, Hero of Twilight. (Commas before you address someone. Special titles are proper nouns.) Travel to the lands of snow and ice and seek an ancient power. There, you will be able to return to the form you seek." She smiled as the wolf perked, up turning to look at her in excitement. "The sword that has broken will travel with you, for though it is shattered its power yet slumbers within."

Link watched as fairies slid the pieces of the master sword into a sheath they had managed to produce from the-Goddesses-knew-where and then attached a strap to it, while putting ties over the hilt itself to make sure it stayed in the sheath. They flew over and settled the sheathed blade onto his back and secured the strap around him to hold the blade in place. He noticed the great fairy look up worriedly "Darkness approaches. The child is unable to slow it any longer. Leave this place swiftly. Seek the power that sleeps in the lands of snow."

Bo limped down the stairs looking around the village and it's now much larger size. He had always been proud of their small village, and though he still was</add>,</add> there was also a part of him that wished all these people hadn't come here when the trouble started. They had even ended up with about 15 soldiers who, like everyone else, spent their time trying to keep the village fed and protected. The loss of Castle Town a mere two years into the conflict had hit everyone hard, especially considering how many people had been unable to escape the place before it was consumed by the dark power. Rusl had taken it especially hard, as his friends in the resistance had been based in Castle Town and had been there when the attack had hit the place. Their fate, along with everyone else who had not escaped, was unknown even to this day as getting any information from outside Ordon was nearly impossible (This is useful to know, but the information you've provided about castle town is much stronger if you end on "to this day" Can you move the part about difficulty getting intelligence somewhere else?).

The mayor sighed, wishing he could get rid of the limp that he had ended up with (Kind of bland language. Are there better verbs than "ended up with" available for describing how he got his limp?) when they had mounted an assault on the creature living in the Spring of Ordona. The attack hadn't gone well and it had only been Rose disobeying her father that had allowed a good chunk of the warriors who had attacked to escape. Rose had peppered the creature with bomb arrows which had disoriented it enough for them to slip away. Rusl of course hadn't been very happy with his daughter at that point and Bo had been forced to play mediator between the two before Rose did something her father would regret, like running away from the village to, in her words, 'Save the world'. The girl reminded him a lot of Link at that age and he knew that Rusl had seen it also and was worried that he'd lose his daughter the way he had lost Link. Bo tried to banish the pang of guilt he still felt so long after Link had disappeared. And yet through it all he still found it impossible to believe the boy had been killed somewhere. Having known the boy since he'd been nothing but a small child, Bo simply didn't believe he was gone. He knew he was in the minority on that belief but he wasn't going to give in, not even as the last breath left his body would he believe that the kid was dead. And in the end he knew that with no knowledge of his daughters' whereabouts, and no idea if the kingdom had any chance whatsoever, the hope that Link was still out there was one of the few things that kept him going.